Magic, Force, and Mayhem: Or, a Story of Potter Induced Chaos
by Nemesis13
Summary: Harry had no idea where he was, or why he was there to begin with really. He had even less of an understanding why a female version of himself from an alternate reality was commiserating with him in his confusion. Ultimately it didn't matter, they were Potters, there was an evil to be defeated, and it could be great fun. If only he could just keep Iris from looting everything...
1. Chapter 1

**So, this happened because Lady Lily Anne and I can't not keep ideas to ourselves. We bantered this idea about for a couple weeks and this is the end result.**

 **If you like it, and the chaos that will soon ensue, please follow and review. If you don't like it, please just walk away.**

 **Regardless, I hope you enjoyed our newest distraction, take care all!**

* * *

The first thing Harry Potter noticed as consciousness rather rudely dragged him back to reality was that there was a slight buzzing in his ears. Then he noticed the background stink of long rotted away refuse, followed quickly by the musty scent of mold and dust. Cracking his eyes open he quickly did the Dursley Check taking inventory of injuries acquired prior to his falling unconscious.

Toes, fingers, arms legs, ribs, nothing broken, excellent start. Any aches? A bit in his back from whatever he was laying on, but aside from that not even a bruise, an accomplishment there if he had any say in it. Sitting up fully he adjusted his glasses pleased to note they had miraculously taken no damage on his journey to...wherever the hell he was.

While there was light it wasn't strong, just a sort of gray glow with the occasional overhead lamp fizzling on at random giving the dilapidated room a poor mans strobe light effect. Outside of it being the source of the background buzzing noise he'd initially heard there was nothing else noteworthy about it. The rooms furnishings consisted of long destroyed furniture spread about the area, broken chunks of concrete that had fallen from the ceiling and walls, and a redheaded girl in Hogwarts robes sprawled on the floor.

Before he could take to his feet to check on said girl she sat up alert as a rather familiar holly wand fell from her sleeve into her open hand, she cast a lumos silently and suddenly they were bathed in white light.

She was...radiant, truly. Red hair the color of rich wine falling in cascading curls, emerald eyes glittering with mischievous cunning, and cream white skin speckled with freckles across her nose. She was beautiful, and she shouldn't exist because Lily Potter was long dead and buried, then his gaze locked onto her forehead. Or, more importantly on the lightning bolt shaped scar marring its surface.

The girl stared at him for a time and Harry belatedly realized she'd been performing the same assessment on him, her gaze locking on his scar a moment later. Of all the responses he was expecting what followed wasn't one of them.

"Bloody hell, not this dimension jumping shite _again_! Ugh...Hello, if I were to ask you your place of birth and date how would you respond?"

Harry stared at her a moment then spoke as she echoed him a moment later, " Godrics Hollow, July 31, 1980."

Harry blinked as the girl sighed and took to her feet, she extended her hand towards him and he took it allowing her to help him stand and get his wobbly legs under control. Rubbing the bridge of her nose she muttered to herself about wrackspurts before turning back to him smiling blandly in the process.

"Hello, my name is Irisabelle Dorea Potter, also known as The-Girl-Who-Lived to pure blood gits without an ounce of creativity between their ears. Please, call me Iris, the full name is meant for signing bank transfers and the like."

Harry grinned in response as he bowed slightly, "Hadrian James Potter, known as, much to my great annoyance, The-Boy-Who-Lived by inconsiderate fools who like to celebrate my parents murder. Please, call me Harry I didn't even find out my name was Hadrian until it came out of the Goblet of Fire last year."

She eyed him a minute before glancing out the rotted doorway leading to...who knew where, "So what are you thinking, one of us is from a parallel dimension?"

Harry shrugged, "Weirder things have happened, I'm going to be honest this isn't even hitting my top five, top ten for sure, but still not surreal enough to dwell on." She nodded then sighed motioning for the door.

"Well...best to find out which one of us is a stranger in a strange land, shall we?" Harry nodded and followed his female double down the rubble strewn halls wand held at ready. Eventually the grey light began lightening a bit down the hall and soon they found themselves at a rend in the wall leading to debris strewn balcony.

Taking a tentative step onto the platform the pair walked out into the open and looked up, and up, and up. The buildings surrounding them reached towards the heavens farther then the eye could see, layers of shifting smoke and clouds twirling above them as flying cars buzzed about between the mammoth skyscrapers.

Eventually Iris nodded and turned to Harry, her emerald gaze, identical to his own looked intrigued more than anything, "This...isn't my world, you?"

Harry scoffed at that rolling his eyes as his lips twisted into an easy grin, "Nope not mine."

Iris nodded slowly at that as she got _that_ smirk, the one their father had always been known for, that made professors pause in resignation and Death Eaters tremble in fear, "You know what this means right?"

Harry mirrored her grin, "If this isn't either of our worlds, we have carte blanche to do whatever we want."

Iris glanced about a bit, grabbed Harry's hand and rushed back into the derelict building giggling to herself, and Harry couldn't help echoing her enthusiasm. After all, if the fates had thrown them together with no direction leaving them to their own devices, well...

It wasn't exactly their fault said fates hadn't taken the Potter propensity for causing chaos simply by existing into account.

While it took a bit of time they found an exit to the building and after navigating a bustling vestibule filled with various aliens of questionable origin the pair of Potters paused as they took in the filth laden street before them.

"Either we're in a post apocalyptic society or the slums of a megalopolis," Iris mused quietly, Harry glanced upwards and thought on it a moment before replying.

"I...think that since they obviously built up as well as out that the middle and upper class would be on higher floors and the dregs end up down here."

Iris nodded slowly at that, "Yeah, makes sense to me, well I guess we find a lift then, I have no idea what the currency is here so can't exactly grab a taxi or something along those lines." They both sighed in resignation at that as they trudged through the crowds, after the third attempt by some lowlife to lift something off his person Harry let out an irritated growl and cast a few Notice-Me-Not's on himself and his double.

Iris shot him a knowing look and mouthed 'thanks' which he nodded to, eventually they found themselves in front of a massive gate that obviously housed a lift, a man in plastic armor with a skull like helmet stood in front of it weapon in hand. Apparently he practiced constant vigilance, really who would blame him in this dive, and easily spotted them through the charm.

"Halt, only those with Imperial clearance are allowed beyond this point."

Harry blinked at that and whispered to Iris quickly, "If we're on an alien world how the rudding hell do we understand him?"

Thankfully for his sanity Iris looked equally confused, "Magic? I guess? Whatever let me handle this Big D and I have done this dozens of times, just gotta make sure Hermione doesn't find out."

Harry tried to process Dudley doing anything cooperatively while at the same time registering that his dimensional double was about to do something Hermione would disapprove of. The sad thing was that could be next to anything, his best friend liked to make a show of observing the rules so when she broke them no one was the wiser, and the genius witch kept her rhymes and reasons to herself.

"Hello sir, my brother and I were kidnapped by some...bandits and we just escaped their neferious clutches. Sadly we have no idea where we even are and I was hoping you could lend us a hand?"

Harry did his best not to react to the line of bullshit she had just fed the soldier in front of them, eventually though he spoke slowly as if trying to process everything he had been told.

"You were...kidnapped? Where are you from, how did you escape?"

"Britain, and our captors decided to get drunk and eventually they got into a fight. While they were shooting at each other we made our escape and now we're here, wherever that is."

The trooper tilted his helmeted head to the side slightly before repyling, "Don't think I've ever heard of a Britain district, are you from Coruscant? Your accents fit but your umm...attire doesn't look like it would fit even as esoteric as things get around here. What planet are you from?"

Planet? _Planet!?_ Well, huh.

"Vulcan," Harry threw out quickly earning a twitch of a smile from Iris, more than likely the Hermione from her reality had made her watch Star Trek as well.

"Huh, well I'm only supposed to make sure the dregs stay down here, but you two are too well spoken, and well, clean, to be from this area. Do you have any form of ID?"

They shook their heads sorrowfully, "No," Iris began, "They took all our money and credentials, I'm shocked they hadn't just killed us really."

"I...see..." the soldier stated sounding unsure, "I really am sorry you seem like decent kids but I have my orders you see. I can't let anyone onto the mid-levels without proper credentials"

Iris nodded slowly, "I understand, I am _really_ sorry for this you seem like a decent bloke just doing his job but we can't be held up like this."

"Wait what?" The confused and now concerned soldier said as Iris pointed her wand at his left eye lens.

"Imperio."

The soldier went rigid and just stood there, Harry's eyes bugged out a bit as he stared at his female double incredulously. He had a thousand questions to ask and the only reason he didn't jump to any conclusions was the sad look marring her features as she shook her head in regret.

"Hate to have to use that on someone just doing what they were ordered to, hopefully no records of this will come back to bite him. Poor fellow already has a shit assignment after all. Come on Harry, I'll break the spell after we get moving."

Harry nodded with a bit of trepidation as he followed Iris into the lift, she hit the highest floor button they had available and as the doors closed she muttered something with a quick wand movement. A moment later she fell to a knee shuddering violently.

"Are you all right?" He asked earnestly, she waved him off while running a hand through her tangled hair.

"Fine, just have a hard time casting unforgivables, they leave a chalky taste on my tongue, give me a bit of a headache and some backlash. Really wish aunt Andromeda hadn't insisted I learn them but times likes this I'm grateful that she was such a stickler for certain traditions."

Harry was vaguely familiar with the name Andromeda, Sirius had mentioned her once, his favorite cousin and the mother of the rather vivacious Nymphadora "Don't You Ever Call Me That!" Tonks, but outside of that he knew nothing about her. Still, if this really was just a slightly different shade of himself from another reality he needed...he needed to know.

"Can you cast them all as casually as that?"

She laughed.

"Goddess no, I can't get the Killing Curse to even light up, and the Cruciatus requires genuine hate for the target to work. No, Imperio is something I've managed to do even wandlessly since I was a kid, the others? Eh, there are way more efficient ways to kill people then a slow moving green ball of light."

"Like a gun for instance," Harry stated with a nod, it was something he and Hermione had tried to explain to Ron dozens of times. Unfortunately most Pure-Bloods referred to guns as 'Firelegs' (something that made Dean Thomas break out into laughter every time he heard it) and didn't quite realize that in the past three hundred years muggles managed to make them able to fire more than once a minute.

The killing curse was flashy, scary, and unblockable, yes. On the other hand a hail of 9mm rounds hammering down a half formed protego soon perforating the caster in seconds was far scarier and significantly easier to pull off.

They still hadn't convinced Ron this was reality, but that was a thought for another day.

"Like a gun," Iris agreed still looking a bit ill, "Not the point though, hit us with that Notice-Me-Not again, extra strength, and when we get to our stop lets find out exactly what the fates threw us into this time."

Harry did so and as the lifts doors swung open the pair walked past the startled guards and quickly melded into the crowds of sentients going about their business. As the duo made their way through the throngs of bodies Harry spoke up nearly yelling to be heard over the crowds.

"Where are we going?"

Iris shook her head while simply stating, "No idea, away from the bobbies that's for sure." Good plan for now he supposed, they were after all illegal aliens on...was it Crescent? Croissant? Whatever, they didn't have papers and they shouldn't be here so it was best to just stay low and not draw attention to themselves.

Stepping into an empty alley Harry pulled Iris in after himself shaking his head slowly, "Is it just me or are we handling this entire thing a bit too casually? I mean really we're on an alien world, likely an alternate dimension, and we're just going with the flow."

Iris shrugged as she glanced over her shoulder at the masses passing them along the street, "Honestly Harry this is like..a Tuesday for me, I've been dealing with crazy shite since I was six and really can't find it in myself to feel all that weirded out."

Harry sighed at that running his fingers through his sweat matted hair, "I was afraid of that...your life is just as messed up as mine and nothing surprises you anymore... Ok, alright. What do we do next? Forge papers, get ourselves on the grid so we can actually figure out where the hell we are and what we're supposed to do?"

She nodded, "Seems legit, I have no better suggestions. Should we try to find a black market or the kind to forge up documents?" Harry mulled that over and that tiny bit of him, that dark little fragment in the back of his mind that was always brutally pragmatic flared up and spoke.

"No...can you do your imperius curse on some government lackeys? Convince them to file us legally?"

Iris blinked in confusion but nodded all the same, "Yeah but, why? I mean we could probably do all this under the radar why bother going through official channels?"

Harry sighed at that while pushing his glasses up his nose absently, "Because we have no idea where we are, what we're doing, or why we're here. It's best to have a solid smoke screen so legitimate credentials would be for the best, trust me I tried to run away from home enough to know the value of a good alibi."

Iris stared at him a few moments then nodded, "Ok, Harry, what do we do?"

He smiled at that taking her hands in his giving them a gentle squeeze, "We need names. We need a background, after that I don't know... They have flying cars, and apparently other planets, so why not learn how to fly them? Learn to fly spaceships?"

Iris mulled that over a moment before replying, "Military academy you think? We can magic up a necklace or something to give us a glamour to look like we're in our late teens or early twenties. It could work..."

Harry smirked, "Sounds like a plan, what names should we pick for ourselves? If they have any sort of genetic profiling they'll obviously know we're related so we need a surname as well."

Iris hummed to herself a minute before chirping out, "how about Chaos? Or Calamity?"

Harry rolled his eyes at that, "A bit obvious don't you think?" She pouted, and damn, wasn't _that_ a powerful attack there? "How about...Tempest?"

Iris perked up at that nodding quickly, "I like it! We're the children of Marauders so how about... Loki and Eris Tempest, twin siblings from...wherever..."

Harry grinned, "I like it, I always wanted a little sister so...I'm ok with that."

Iris blushed and broke his gaze shuffling her feet slightly, "I'm used to being the little sister so I'm fine with that. So...lets find a registration office and make ourselves legal. After that we'll figure out exactly what the hell is going on and get some training."

Harry held her hand as they walked back out into the masses, "Sounds like a plan, sis." Sis, sister, he couldn't help the way his grin broadened at that thought. He finally had family, even if it was only himself from the next reality over, somehow though that seemed fitting. He would never be alone as long as he had himself to talk to right? Sweet Merlin that sounded like something Luna would say didn't it?

Bad brain, do not think like Luna, we have things to get done after all.

After some rather awkward questions to random passersby they figured out a few things about their current environment. Namely they were on the planet Coruscant, which had been renamed Imperial Center and was referred to as such by bureaucrats and politicians only. The galaxy was ruled by a man named Palpatine heading a Galactic Empire, and said Empire was a collection of power hungry twats.

After getting directions to the closest registration office Harry glanced at his new sister a moment then asked, "Ok, now what?"

* * *

"Ok, now what?" Harry asked her.

Well now wasn't that a loaded question?

Now what.

Well there was a few dozen things that came to mind, many of said scenarios involving arson, robbery, grand theft auto and defenestration. Ah, defenestration, she loved the fact that word existed, a singular word created to describe throwing politicians out of a multistory building to their ignoble deaths. She was fairly certain the Bohemians coined it, so good on them for having proper priorities.

Still though...

"Well we're wearing school uniforms, robes, and have identical scars on our foreheads. So we _really_ need to get this registration thing out of the way so we can knock over a bank and establish ourselves."

Harry blanched at that, "Rob a bank? Are you serious?"

"No that's my Godfather, and if you're going to get all pissy about it _I'll_ rob the bank while you stay at home knitting tea cozies. Look, Harry, I get it, we're Gryffindors, honor, virtue, and all that, but here's the thing. We are on an alien world, dominated by a fascist empire, and we only have each other to rely on. So you know what? I'm willing to rob a bank in order to survive because surprise surprise. I like me, and me with food is happy, and in order for me to have food I need money, and I'm not working a nine to five. Savvy?"

Harry stopped and stared at her a moment, his eyes flickered between several emotions at once before nodding slowly, "Savvy."

"Wunderbar, now do you know how to do any enchanting so we can make up our glamours?" Harry tilted his head to the side and nodded after a few moments.

"Fluer showed me how to anchor them to jewelry last year after I saved Gabrielle, said it would help when my fans got unbearable."

Iris grunted her acknowledgement as she dragged Harry into an info kiosk, "Sounds like Magnifique, she always did enjoy looking after me. As well as dressing me up like a doll... I seriously have no idea if that was a French or Veela thing..." Digging into her charmed bottomless bag that Luna had gotten her for her birthday Iris pulled out a pair of simple silver chain necklaces, "Ok you know what dad looked like in his early twenties so do your thing. I'll work on my own. We'll resemble ourselves enough to not confuse each other but when we drop the glamour we'll look different enough to confuse people."

Glamours were rather funny things, sure they worked when you cast them on other people but they didn't really last and they always felt a bit stilted, like they lacked a shade of life to really sell them. Cast it on yourself and you bypassed that and it was easier for most to fall for them, Iris had no idea why that was the truth of the matter but it was what it was so she didn't complain about it.

Really, demanding logic from magic was a bit like milking a rock, incredibly frustrating, and ultimately pointless.

Remembering what Lily Potter née Evans looked like at her death, which was mildly disconcerting really, Iris cast the glamour charm and anchored it to the necklace. Looping the links of metal around her neck she felt it take hold and shivered a bit as her perception shifted to be about a half foot taller than she really was.

Iris hated glamours, no matter how well they were cast she almost always ended up face planted on the floor, stupid altered senses... A short time later she glanced up and stared at who she thought was James Potter for a moment and felt her throat tighten, when she locked onto the emerald green eyes she relaxed a bit.

"Sweet merciless Morrigan Harry you look just like dad!"

Harry swallowed hard as he glanced to the side nodding slowly, "You look identical to mum, this is going to take some getting use to." Remembering the Ginny Weasley method of handling an uncomfortable situation Iris decided to hug it out with her erstwhile big brother, and he was the big brother after all. No way she was going to be the responsible one, the universe would end if she were ever really in charge and Dudley would be super annoyed that she subverted his role of little sister protector regardless.

So she hugged him, and pulled him close, and he returned it after a stunned moment silence, they remained that way for a time before letting each other go, both willing to pretend they hadn't nearly just had an emotional breakdown.

Now _that_ was rather brilliant, this whole having a double who understood how you thought thing was pretty great when they both suffered the same neurosis as their new sibling did.

"Ok," Harry said as he pointed at the map on the kiosk wall, "We're here, and we're ten kilometers from the nearest registration office. I say we get ourselves made legit, lift enough money from the local denizens to rent a room, and sleep today off like a bad hangover."

Ok, yeah, that was funny.

"All right Harry," Iris said with a laughing snort, "Lets set ourselves up for the future." It ended up being way easier than either had expected, Iris had to cast one Imperius curse and Harry a single confundus but they managed to get registered as Loki and Eris Tempest within the hour. After helping herself to said office's registers they had enough money to rent a room for the night while also stealing this worlds equivalent of a laptop.

She'd spent too many of her formative years hiding her powers and abilities while exploiting the hell out of them to actually care about the morality of her actions. Something Dudley often times found hilarious, so she ignored any pangs of conscious that creeped up while typing away at her ill begotten computer.

The best bet they had was probably Corulag, the entire planet was like an Imperial soldier training ground and there were regular flights in and out so she and Harry could easily fall through the cracks and learn how the galaxy operated from the inside.

She snorted at that while rolling her eyes, seriously this shit was getting easier and easier to pull off. The only reason they had to play it safe was the simple fact that they didn't know what the hell they were dealing with and kept themselves restrained out of self preservation, odd how that worked out. Normally it was all rush in without thinking it through, maybe she was maturing?

She shivered at the thought and quickly dismissed it.

So, closing down her laptop she jumped on the bed and fell asleep near immediately and ended up cuddling Harry during the night, and woke up far too early to make their flight much to her 'brother's' chagrin.

* * *

Hours after the pair entered the transport to Corulag and vanished from the known world a man prowled along the path they had taken seemingly focused on nothing at all.

Reaching the building that his senses drew him to the man growled in anger realizing his targets were long gone. How he wished to release his ire on the fools surrounding him, but that would only potentially alert his prey that they were being followed so he refrained from the blissful release.

Honestly, life as an Imperial Inquisitor was far too stressful for someone as young as he was.

* * *

Half a galaxy away Harry Potter snapped awake, glancing to the crash seat next to him the young wizard snorted as he observed the redheaded girl wrapped around his left arm. Iris was...unique, that was for sure, and she definitely pushed for decisive decisions, but...she was also him wasn't she?

Harry, well, he had a hard time seeing it, while he'd accepted they were each from different yet similar realities she...she was beautiful, kind and blunt, and...she was there for him... It was at that moment the Galactic Empire became doomed and a bearded old fool a reality over looked up from his desk in confusion.

Harry Potter had decided where he stood in the coming wars, and it was wherever his newly found sister wanted him to be.

Morrigan help anyone who got in his way.

When the shuttle reverted back to real-space and Corulag appeared on the viewscreens mounted on the walls Harry could only smile. They'd get educated, they would get training, and then they would be free. Letting his head fall atop Iris's Harry silently mulled over a rather amusing thought.

What would the galaxy make of a pair of Potters without any sort of safety switch?


	2. Delighted Reconnaissance

**Pre-Academy chapter, if it feels a bit disjointed I'm sorry, kind of a new concept for me.**

 **Once again, as always, props to Lady Lily Anne for helping me put this new world together, and I hope you all enjoy.**

 **Next chapter will be their Academy days and then after that they'll be unleashed on the galaxy at large.**

 **As one reviewer put it, 'Tactical Potter Launch Detected'**

 **Queue maniacal laughter.**

 **Please review**

* * *

As their transport cruised above the bright blue oceans and green bamboo forests of Corulag Harry found himself having to hold Iris back at her waist as she hopped on her tip toes in excitement. He really couldn't blame her exuberance honestly, after entering the atmosphere they were allowed to view their descent from the lounge and it was truly a breathtaking sight to behold.

"Look Loki! There's a dinosaur thing! It's like if a Hungarian Horntail had sex with a T-Rex! It's bloody brilliant! Oh and look at that! I think it's some sorta super tiger! Oh look-" Harry really had to resist the urge to break out laughing as the hyper excited redhead tapped the smart-glass window magnifying bits of the passing wildlife at seemingly random.

She very well may be capable of advanced magic while maintaining a mercenary viewpoint on her own survival yes, but in the end Iris really was just an excitable kid at heart. It was...well honestly it was endearing, he'd been forced to grow up quickly, never really having a childhood. Iris didn't seem to have any desire to move on from her own, not that she was immature mind, more like...she never lost the sense of wonder and excitement most gave up as they grew older and more cynical.

She still had...an innocence about her, and Harry felt a strange desire to make sure she never lost that, there was just something pure about it and he had no wish to see it ever disappear.

-"and that one looks like a penguin with pterodactyl wings, scary! Wow Loki there wasn't anything like this back on Coruscant, maybe after we apply at the academy we can see if there's like...a safari or something? Oh oh! Maybe they have something like Jurassic Park and we can ride around listening to a boring narrator while we watch the monsters eat lawyers!"

Harry gave up at this point, breaking out into open laughter he pulled the now pouting Iris into a tight embrace as he rested his chin on top of her head, she leaned into the hug and he could tell she was laughing a bit to herself as well.

"I'm sure we can arrange something Eris, but I sincerely doubt that they have a waiting supply of lawyers to lure the alien dinosaurs out into the open."

Breaking the embrace Iris pulled a strand of crimson hair behind her left ear as she grinned up at Harry brightly, "Why ever not? Padfoot always said his lawyer was only ever useful as goblin fodder after all, I'm sure we could find a few volunteers. Wasn't there an 80's song about killing all the lawyers anyway? I mean if we're going to off the lot of them regardless feeding dinosaurs would probably be the most fiscally responsible way of going about it."

Harry eyed the various travelers sharing the observation lounge with them and by the nervous looks several of them were sending Iris, they were likely lawyers by profession. If the very subtle smirk curling at the corner of her lips was any indicator, she was aware of this as well and was simply having fun at their expense. Ah well, she was the daughter of a Marauder after all, and really as her big brother wasn't it his responsibility to enable her?

"I won't argue that purging an entire profession at once would be rather expensive to pull off, so using the now liquidated work force as food stuffs for giant monsters would be cost effective. It's the transportation though, quite expensive moving so many blokes about, and there would be whinging and posturing to deal with as well. They'd likely be arguing over the legalities of the situation the entire way and in the end it just would not be worth the hassle."

Iris nodded at that watching the various passengers out of the corner of her eye trying her best not to laugh, "Well we could drug them first, although I'm not sure what that would do to the dinosaurs. Might give them a stomach ache and that would be rather defeating the purpose now wouldn't it? Poor little guys just wanted a free meal after all."

Harry nodded as he tapped his chin in thought, "We could just feed them through a wood chipper and freeze dry them before serving them up. It isn't the same as a fresh meal but would probably cut down on the shipping costs as well as all the complaining."

Iris looked contemplative a moment and he could easily see her shoulders were vibrating with suppressed mirth as the twins were now being openly gawked at, fully in her element now the shorter Potter shook her head slowly in the negative.

"No no, the screaming and flailing about are all part of the fun and honestly the highlight of the whole thing really. Lets be serious a moment, they don't taste that good to begin with, if the dinosaurs don't have that bit of thrill for the hunt going on they probably wouldn't find them all that appetizing. Afraid we're going to have figure out how to arrange free-range lawyer for them to get the full effect."

Harry finally lost it at the free-range lawyer bit and burst out laughing, Iris was only seconds behind as the twins leaned against each other ignoring the befuddled few people they hadn't managed to scare off. As their laughter died down a massive city could be seen through the window growing steadily larger as the transport sped along its way.

The twins glanced up at the overhead speakers as an announcement rang through the ship, "Attention all passangers we are on our final approach to Curamelle. Please return to your seats and prepare for arrival in ten minutes."

Meeting each others gaze they shrugged and made their way back to their assigned seats. The landing was, unmemorable, little to nothing went wrong and they soon disembarked with all the other passengers, most of which were human.

That wasn't all that unexpected really. From what Iris had been able to glean off the holonet Palpatine's regime was fairly specist as well as sexist, and with the Imperial Academy being in this city most none humans would likely wish to avoid potential confrontation. This fact honestly irritated Harry on several levels, he was a fairly open minded and accepting individual who didn't discriminate (Voldemort's goons aside), along with knowing for a fact some of the most capable people he'd ever met were women.

His dearly departed mother, his best friend, his head of house, his new sister, not to mention the utterly terrifying Madam Pomfrey, they were pretty much standing proof that the Empire's policies were utter bollocks. Not that the sexism would be an issue for Iris at the academy regardless, she had zero scruples when it came to playing with peoples minds, speaking of which...

* * *

Iris was busily looking over all the signs and displays indicating where they had to go for customs as she and Harry weaved through the bustling crowds. This place was a bit like an airport terminal back home, but not as wide open and a bit more confusing, still she felt she was doing pretty good figuring things out considering how new she was to all this.

"So Eris," Harry begin briefly drawing her attention away from the various displays, "How exactly are we getting you into the Academy?" Ah right, that, the sexism thing, that was definitely going to take some getting use to. Sure she was raised a bit conservatively by her mum, since Petunia Dursley would never let any daughter of her's embarrass herself after all, but still this was new.

In the real world she was part of upper society circles thanks to daddy's string of promotions at Grunnings, heck they were actually forecasting him taking the CEO position in a few years. So she was treated with the utmost respect and dignity a young lady deserved even if they were occasionally a bit condescending about it.

In the magical world despite all its pitfalls, politics, and backwards incesty idiocy one thing was very certain, _no one_ was stupid enough to dismiss the dangers of an angered witch.

Some of the most powerful magic users in history had been witches, Voldemort's Right Hand, while insane, was a witch, hell Dumbledore's Right Hand was one as well. Morgana was said to be the daughter of the Morrigan herself, Molly Weasley was a championship duelist if a long retired one, Andromada Tonks was simply bloody terrifying, then there was cousin Dora, and well Hermione, Luna, herself and...yeah...

The list goes on and on.

So sexism was something she'd never experienced before, and as it stands she wasn't planning on ever experiencing it because she was the Red Mage, and the space time continuum was her personal play thing.

"Copious amounts of confundus, obliviates, and imperios Loki, I know how to remain low key, but I will bow to no one."

Harry for his part nodded approvingly, they may have only known each other a few days but seriously having yourself to hang out with was rather brilliant and they 'got' each other better than most.

"Ok, I'm with you on that, so we get through customs, apply to the Academy, then...what?" She sighed at that finally catching sight of the customs desk and motioning for her brother to follow her, they reached a bored receptionist and handed over their passports.

As they were being processed Iris purposely forced herself to speak in English, rather then let whatever magical force that allowed them to use Galactic Basic take hold.

"We need to get imprinted, that is, memory imprinting. It's actually rather brilliant and why the Academy courses are only six months long instead of several years. We get a memory download, years worth of knowledge and skills, and all we have to do is give our minds a couple of weeks to process and assimilate it all."

Harry stared at her incredulously, not that she could blame him her initial reaction had been the same, "They...can do that? Seems like a bit of a cop out...and sounds incredibly expensive as well."

Iris rolled her eyes at that before once again responding in English, "Well yeah, if we actually intended to pay for it. Seriously Harry, remember, we're free to do as we please, we see what's ours and we take it. Look at it as a way to...finally reach Hermione's level, without any of the actual work and effort."

Harry blinked, grinned, then nodded in approval, "All right, but what about right now?"

Accepting their passports back from the service drone Iris smirked as she let Harry take her arm and escort her out of the building, "I want cake."

Harry let out a Sirius level bark of laughter and led his little sister on an all important search for cake.

* * *

 **Two Weeks Later**

"Ok...I have no idea what the hell we just ate, but it was delicious!" Iris's declaration drew a chuckle from Harry as they left the bakery that had supplied her most recent sugar fix, neither of them noticing the thoroughly pleased Ithorian baker in the back cooking area as they exited the building.

In the days following their arrival to Corulag the Tempest twins had inadvertently made a bit of a name for themselves in the lower quarters of Curamelle. They were by human standards, even with their glamours active, quite attractive, polite, whimsical, and proactive in dealing with local criminal elements. Something the locals would become quite pleased with in the coming weeks.

So after supplying their applications to the Corulag Imperial Military Academy they had rented a cheap room in the back of a pub owned by a rather foul mouthed yet fatherly Twi'lek by the name of Hav'har. His pies were amazing and he never carded the pair despite being strong minded enough to see through their glamours. He called them 'The Brats' and had a particular soft spot for Harry since he would occasionally offer to help prepare meals for guests. Further proof that the Empire was full of it, none-humans were brilliant, not inferior.

Their plans for breaking into Sienar Fleet Systems to steal a pair of the companies memory imprinters was actually coming along fairly well. The break in was easy enough, but they needed to be properly prepared for it, which was a fairly simple process in on itself. Namely Harry needed to learn to cast magic without a wand.

Iris had taken up the chore of showing Harry that he didn't need a wand for anything other then detail work with zeal and while he hadn't quite gotten to her level _yet_ it was only a matter of time. At the moment she had him practicing her preferred mind trick on various scumbags while coaching him through the steps in her typical cheerful manner.

Today though, they were going on the offensive.

"What I'm curious about was why, if you were capable of doing all this wandless stuff to begin with, you were using a wand when we first met." Harry stated this on the day they'd agreed to break into Sienar Fleet Systems headquarters, gently twirling his wand between his fingers as he addressed his sister. It wasn't like he needed it at this point, but its presence calmed his his nerves.

Shuffling through the milling crowds the redhead beside him shot him a glance while gently shrugging one shoulder, "Simple really. I've made it a habit to underplay my talents what with the ministry forcefully recruiting anyone with 'Special' abilities like cousin Dora, and simple self preservation as well. Hermione, Dudley, Ginny, Luna, Blaise, Susan, Gred and Forge, Neville, Ron, Daphne, Draco and more... We're all talented, none of us rely on wands. What do you think the ministry would do if they found out they had no way to exert their control over the next generation of witches and wizards?

"What do you think they'd do when they realize that this near adult class of young ones didn't need government regulated wands, that we had found a way to bypass their stupid archaic laws, that we'd learned to turn our own magic saturated bodies into focei they could not confiscate? Nah, way easier to just use the damn wands on a daily basis to make them feel like they had control.

"It'll make an easier time of it when we finally lose our patience and take control..."

Harry's little sister was terrifying as hell. He found it mildly disconcerting that the very idea was rather adorable.

There might be something wrong with him...

"Ah, I see, and who am I supposed to mind control today?" Iris grinned at that while grabbing his hand weaving her fingers between his as they stepped around a rather foul smelling gamorrean, all while the girl in question cheerfully conjured a pleasantly fragranced flower while placing it in said humanoids hand.

Harry was completely unsurprised when she spoke up in Huttese " _A good day to you Boar Fredric!"_

The porcine humanoid snorted in amusement as he patted Iris on the head, _"And a good day to you little piglet, not getting into any trouble I hope?"_

Iris grinned in turn, " _If I do Harry will get me out of it for sure!"_ The gamorrean, Fredric, snorted once again while shaking his head before going on his way.

Harry had discovered, rather interestingly enough, that both he and his sister got along with none-humans far better then they did their own kind. In fact they came off as rather endearing to the lot of them which while odd, wasn't really something he'd complain about.

Once they had a proper footprint on the galaxy at large he'd make it a point to properly investigate this.

Finally leaving the bustle of the surrounding crowds Iris grinned widely as she led Harry up a series of steps, leading to a massive sprawling industrial complex.

"In answer to your earlier question dear brother, _we_ are mind controlling several people today. It's time to take our memory imprinters since we need several weeks to let our minds absorb the info. Since the next semester at the Academy starts in less then four months we have no choice really."

Harry mulled that over as they sauntered towards the employee access gate of Sienar Fleet Systems headquarters before snorting in amusement.

"So instead of a clandestine night break-in we're just going to waltz in on the pretense of a job interview, get inside, and steal everything that isn't nailed down right?"

Iris grinned at that as they stopped before the gate guards, "Oh no, no need to be that discriminating brother of mine...vanishing spells work wonders on nails..."

* * *

Getting inside had been painfully easy, bureaucrats being what they were it had taken no time to talk their way through it all. Harry seriously had a flair for that kind of double talk, Iris would normally be a bit jealous of his disarming innocence but considering she had that particular trait in her character profile as well she wasn't going to complain.

Humming out the 'Bloody Tears' theme from Simon's Quest Iris eventually found the room containing the Imprinting Chairs, and my weren't they rather innocuous? Cheaply padded pleather chairs with a 1960's Doctor Who style salon chair headpiece dealy attached to a monitor by a thick strand of cables. Harry, once again proving they were in fact siblings in mind if nothing else snorted out in amusement.

"These things look like props from Star Trek," Iris broke out into a giggle fit as she nodded in full agreement.

"I was thinking Doctor Who but yeah you're right. Ok, vanish the bolts keeping them in place, shrink the chairs, and toss them in your bottomless bag, I'll grab the tapes." Harry nodded and got to work while Iris approached the locked cabinets, with a wave of her hand the doors vanished and she began levitating all the holotapes into her own bottomless bag.

The process didn't take all that long really, they were both magically powerful and the charms they'd been laying all over the facility left them invisible to security. So when they were finished neither of the twins were surprised when they were ignored once they wandered onto the factory floor.

Pushing past the general clatter they wandered down the factory lines, all while opening secure doors with the casual flick of a wand as they took in the organized chaos and just generally got a feel for the kilometers wide facility. It wasn't until they got to the Research and Development department that things got interesting.

Iris busied herself with the caf dispenser, dumping far more sugar than anyone would ever advise into her mug while waiting for the machine to process its glorious caffeinated goodness while Harry rolled through the supposedly secure terminal he'd liberated from a now stunned employee.

Once gifted with her newest energy source the small redhead approached her brother and glanced at the monitor over his shoulder, "Whatchya do'in good look'in?"

Harry absently pecked her cheek before turning back to his work, "Apparently this facility is holding the latest variation of the TIE Defender series of space superiority fighters. Four laser cannons, two ion cannons, two proton torpedo launchers, and a tractor beam on top of being hyperspace capable. Plus, they look badass. Apparently one Grand Admiral Thrawn green lit a limited run of them after the Rebel Alliance destroyed something called the 'Death Star' a month before we showed up here."

"Sounds dick compensating," Iris stated as she landed in Harry's lap, taking in the monitors images before perking up slightly, "Death Star that is, this TIE Defender looks amazing though!"

Harry snorted at that while rolling his eyes, "Yeah but they won't be done for another four months and we have no idea how to fly the rudding things."

Iris sipped her caf before nodding slowly, "Ok, so we become super smart with our imprinter chairs, go to the academy and learn to be officers, then we break back into this place, steal everything, then make our getaway?" Harry snatched the mug from Iris's hand before downing it's steaming contents.

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

 **I love the Potters**


	3. Acknowledging the Past

**So, Lady Lily Anne brought up an incredibly valid point to me that I hadn't considered, the two of us know Iris incredibly well since we created her, the problem is, most of you don't. So, while it really diverges from where we wanted this chapter to go, we're going to get their back stories out of the way and show what was different for the two of them.**

 **We only plan on having one more exposition moment in a later chapter, going over the dimensions Iris and Harry have been forced to visit, and the green eyed woman who sent them there, so no worries, adventure is on the horizon.**

 **As an aside? Stop sending me PM's requesting this becomes an incest story, it isn't happening, so chill.**

* * *

As the timer went off Harry cracked the large stove's door open and smiled to himself as he slipped an insulated mitt over his right hand, squinting he stared at his objective before nodding once. A moment later he reached into the fiery confines of said oven to pull out a tray of meat pies that he swiftly placed on the counter beside him. His twi'lek boss/landlord Hav'har nodded in approval as he examined the golden flaky crusts placed before him.

"Not bad brat, far better than your sister at least, though that ain't saying much. Girl isn't worth much for more than washing dishes and boiling water... Still, at least she can mix a good drink. Where is she anyway?"

Taking no offense to the grizzled old war veteran's commentary Harry smiled lightly as he began removing the pies from their trays while placing them on the cooling racks.

"Oh mixing up some of her medicines I think, that flu that recently passed through the area really dented her supply of ready made cures after all."

Not a lie, 'someone' * _cough_ * **The Empire** * _cough_ * had released a mildly contagious virus on the local none humans to 'keep them honest and in check.' This left the Tempest twins to have to step up and lend a hand to help their neighbors recover. Unfortunately despite how much they had watered down their Pepper-Up potions to make them stretch out it had been a rather pricey investment all around.

Sooner rather than later they were going to have to try and find local herbs to replace those from Earth.

That was going to be...a rather interesting testing trial period, hmm... maybe they could get some "volunteers" from the local gangs? Really no one would miss them regardless, and if they survived the procedure, hey, penance!

Something to think about at least.

Harry blinked at those rather dark thoughts a moment before letting out a quiet snort, Iris's rather mercenary way of looking at things was certainly beginning to rub off on him, that was for sure.

Hav'har snorted at that while shifting a wrinkled blue lekku over his shoulder, "We're lucky to have you two around kid. Honestly, you brats are the best thing to happen to this neighborhood since the Fall." At this the old man glanced up from the register and gave Harry an appraising look before continuing, "You two better not let anything happen to yourselves."

Harry grinned at that while shrugging, "We'll do what we have to, survival is paramount right? Anyway, do you mind if I snatch a couple of these for our dinner?"

Hav'har scoffed in amusement as he halfheartedly swatted at the young teen while rolling his eyes in tired exasperation, "Take enough for both you and your sister and remember to let them finish cooling first. Don't wanna burn the roof of yer mouth after all. Help yourself to a couple ales while yer at it, yer no use to me malnourished after all."

Grinning Harry dipped a hand into one of the coolers snatching up a pair of bottles while simultaneously grabbing a few of the meat pies placing them on a waiting tray. Nodding to Hav'har Harry soon made his way to the heavily warded room he and his sister shared.

As he entered the room Harry swung his hip to close the door, glancing about a moment he sighed as he saw a massive black trunk resting in the center of the small living space, its brass strapped lid laying unlocked and open. Iris's 'Bug-Out-Trunk' was honestly something that made Harry mildly jealous; while Sirius and Remus had made one for himself it was utilitarian at best, all about survival and nothing else.

Iris's was a bloody club house, including a fully stocked bar, a potions lab, a game room, a pool table, an arcade room, and a swimming pool. The only thing it was missing was a garage, and at the theft rate they were going at...

Sighing he shook his head to clear his thoughts as he eyed the escaping light pouring from the magically expanded trunk, all while his eardrums thrummed from the crooning ministrations of the Beastie Boys rendition of 'Sabotage' roiling from within. It would appear little sister was already hard at work.

Stepping up to the stairs leading into the trunks depths he meandered down to the rooms below and did his best to ignore the loud music screaming around him, quickly taking notice of his sister as she hopped on the balls of her feet to the ear shattering noise.

Placing their meals on a side table Harry watched Iris in open amusement as the petite witch bobbed her head along with the music. Her crimson tresses swaying with the motions as she mouthed incoherent lyrics, hands moving along with the beat.

"Learn new things every day, I had no idea you liked rap, or that you were adept enough at potion brewing to work on several at once."

Iris jumped slightly as Harry's voice broke through the music and she shot a halfhearted glare over her shoulder as she rather maturely stuck her tongue out at him before returning back to her brews.

She did however show him the courtesy of turning the music down before replying, "You never asked keep in mind, plus... Well despite spending nearly a month together we've talked very little about our personal lives."

Harry shrugged lightly at that, "I'm an open book to you, you're family after all. I just assumed you didn't want to talk about it for your own reasons and I didn't want to push."

Iris's shoulders slumped a bit as she shook her head slowly, extending one forefinger to indicate he wait a moment she stirred one of the cauldrons counter clockwise twice before banging its side with the stirring rod. Nodding in approval she turned down the heat to a simmer then spun abruptly to meet her brothers gaze.

Worrying her lip a few moments she eventually sighed while pinching the bridge of her nose, "I didn't talk about my life because what little you've let out about yours...doesn't appear to be all that pleasant. I was afraid if I delved too deeply into your past, or let you know about mine, you'd get offended and not want anything to do with me anymore."

Harry blinked in confusion as he quite automatically gripped her shoulders to gain her undivided attention, "Why would you ever think that Iris?"

She fidgeted a bit under the physical contact before meeting her brother's earnest gaze, "Harry...I saw you walk out of the shower in naught but a towel. I...I saw the scars...you haven't had a kind life and... heh... I'm a spoiled brat...that is a bit of disparity between two siblings raised by the exact same people don't you think? Even separated by a reality?"

Harry stared at her a moment before breaking away, he...was aware that he and Iris had been raised differently but this was the first time it was going to be addressed in the month they'd known each other.

He couldn't see any way this was going to be pleasant, Iris was like a blood hound when her interest was piqued, and he knew his past was soon going to be dragged to the forefront. Best to just get it over with quickly, like pulling a band-aid off, or throwing a game of chess with Ron so he could actually get some studying done.

Digging up a past he had tried very hard to forget kind of made Harry want to throw up, though as he took a look at Iris's concerned visage he managed to screw up his courage, swallow his fear, and began speaking.

"I...my...the Dursleys...I didn't even know my name until I hit primary school. I was known as 'Freak' and 'Boy' before that...it...it just got worse from there..."

As he feared Iris looked disgusted, and afraid, but rather than pushing him away, she pulled him into her embrace and held him tightly as she pressed her lips next to his ear.

"Tell me what else happened, _big brother_."

Those last words made him shudder in a manner he couldn't even describe. Her tone was possessive, protective, angry, and loving, really there was no singular way to describe it other then a deep sense of being cared for, which gave him the courage to continue.

He told her everything, the abuse, the hate, the lack of acceptance from the Dursleys, to Hagrid's intervention, meeting Ron and Hermione, fighting the troll, confronting Quirrelmort, surviving the summer, Dobby, and so on.

It felt...cathartic really, finally letting someone know exactly what he'd undergone. Iris for her part seemed shocked, amused at times, but mostly just worried at the undertone of his stories, eventually she spoke in a quiet, comforting tone as she gently rubbed her hand along Harry's back in slow circles.

"You've led an interesting life Harry, I won't deny that, and you've done well despite having next to no control over your fate, but...you do realize how much you've been led along by the nose, right? That when something isn't explicitly trying to kill you for their own reasons, almost everything seems to be grooming you for..." She paused worrying her lip again, not sure how to continue but Harry saved her the trouble.

"A hero complex? Maybe even martyrdom? Yeah, Hermione and I talked a bit about that after I recovered from the third task. She had cataloged everything we'd gone through, her and her damn lists..." at this Iris laughed while Harry smiled wryly continuing on. "Anyway she basically wrote up a timeline and lists of inconsistencies involving me and the magical world in general. There was nothing definitive, concrete, but yeah, it looked like someone was pulling my strings."

Iris frowned as she snatched up the trays of pies and slid to the floor beside Harry, she bit into one, grinned brilliantly, and continued devouring the food with gusto. Harry handed her an ale while casually flicking a finger at the cap, magically popped it off and sending it to land in a nearby waste bin. Accepting the drink Iris took a sip as he dug into his own dinner, they ate in companionable silence for a time, and once they were sated Iris stood and returned to her potions.

"What are you brewing anyway?" Harry asked from the floor, too full, and frankly emotionally drained, to bother standing up.

"Wit Sharpening potions for us when we take our first round of imprinting, it's what they made us take to properly absorb and assimilate the language potions we needed for Ancient Runes. That...is not something I want to go through again, hopefully the imprinting chairs won't cause as much of a mess."

Harry blinked at that, she really wasn't making a good sale of this idea but she continued on regardless, "The other two are Pepper-Up and the last bit of Hang-Over cure. I honestly really should have properly restocked my stores but I was dropped here just before the Christmas hols so I figured I had time."

Harry pursed his lips as he gently knocked his head against the wood paneled wall, "Can't really help, I'm pants at potions...well rather I had subpar instruction. I have several dozen potions ranging from light healing to truth serum but no ingredients, sorry I can't toss in anything."

Iris waved him off as she turned back to her potions, "Snape right? Only reason I became his apprentice is because I bribed him, which, oddly enough, impressed him to an extent. That, and I look like a clone of Lily Evans and you look like one of James Potter, so yeah, there's that. No denying the man's bias but good goddamn does he know how to brew a potion."

Harry's interest was piqued at that, "You bribed Snape to actually take you on as an apprentice? How?"

Iris cackled a bit, it was mildly discomfiting but he weathered the storm as it were as his sister turned to meet his gaze, winking once before she spun back to her potions.

"The basilisk of course! I wanted the hide and fangs for practical reasons, armor, weapons, and the like, but had no idea how to harvest any of it. So I approached Professor Snape with a business proposition, he helped me render the basilisk down to its base components, and he got to pick the first 10% of the beasts mass for himself. In so long as there was roughly 60% of each base component left for me, he jumped on the deal and in the process I promised to get him more rare ingredients for _proper_ potion training. Not the crap he pulled in class."

Iris looked up contemplatively as she tapped her chin with her forefinger in a thoughtful manner, "I still have something like three hundred kilos of liquid acromantula silk that needs to be processed actually now that I think about it. Snape mostly wanted the venom and eyes, the silks too magically resistant to be of much use in brewing potions. That's a thought, I really could use some new clothes and processing the silks easy enough...hmmm..."

Harry goggled at her and while slightly weary of the answer to his question he had to know, "Where did you get that from?"

His sister's eyes widened perceptibly at that as she appraised him a moment before once again returning to her work, "The colony in the Forbidden Forest of course. I love Hagrid dearly, but seriously those...monsters are an invasive species and a goddamn liability, the only reason that they were left to themselves was a few corrupt officials in the ministry collected the silk to sell on the sly.

"Anyway, for his fourteenth birthday Ron requested I wipe out the colony as his present, not being one to turn down a challenge I got my friends together and we wiped the buggers out. Snape's training on how to render magical creatures down to their basic components came in really handy there, what a messy week."

Taking this in stride Harry finally caved in, he had to know, "What was different, for you, compared to what happened to me?"

Iris thought about it a moment before sighing and shrugging her shoulders, "I figured out I was magical when I was seven. I'd been playing Final Fantasy with Dudley on my Nintendo, there were only four letter slots for the characters and I insisted the fighter be named BigD, he thought it was silly so in return he named the red mage Iris.

"Anyway mum kicked us out of the house to get some fresh air, we began 'sword' fighting with a pair of sticks and Dudley managed to break mine. He was laughing at how put out I looked and I got angry, so I cast a FIRE spell at him, just like in the game..."

Harry's eyes widened at that and she gave him a knowing nod in turn, "Yeah, thing was, it worked. I caught my big brother on fire and barely managed to put it out, he was crying and screaming on the ground and I figured hey, if I can cast FIRE, surely I can cast CURE right? So that's what I did. I healed Dudley, and when he came to he realized I was a step away from a nervous breakdown and instead focused on the positives. _Obviously_ my miraculous powers made me a Red Mage, and I was a magical girl meant to protect the land from evil."

"Obviously," Harry drawled out looked highly amused, "Honestly that sounds kind of...adorable in a way, what happened after that?"

Iris 'hmmmd' a bit while turning one of the burners off and pulling the cauldron over to the counter to cool, "Big D and I spent the next couple of years inventing spells as we went through as much fantasy and science fiction works as we could find. When I was nine I mind tricked one of daddy's coworkers into not trying to frame him for embezzlement and he ended up getting promoted to regional manager.

"It was around that time we took up martial training, sword fighting, fencing and the like. Our sensei was this eccentric Japanese man who just went by Urahara, he was...kinda crazy but in a fun way. Anyway that isn't really important right now, where was I...right!

"We were kidnapped by a master vampire somewhere around that time but that wasn't really a milestone, I caught him on fire, and when Dudley figured out the creep wanted to turn me into an undead loli dressup doll he goaded me into torching the manor as well. Always wished I looted the place beforehand, ah well. Anyway soon after that we moved to Crawley which is where we met Hermione."

Her grin brightened a bit at the mention of their mutual best friend, "We were ten and new to the area, we tried to keep to ourselves and hid in the library often, Dud would read comic books while I tried to find anything related to magic. Anyway Hermione got cornered by some bitchy girls and I mind tricked them into leaving her alone, I was going to wipe her memory of us when...well for some reason I can't remember what she thought she was but she assumed I was one of them too."

Iris rubbed her forehead in confusion as if in pain before shaking her head and continuing, "Anyway, we became best friends, she was practically integrated into the family and spent nearly a year with us before we got our letters."

Harry sat up in interest at that, "Did Hagrid come for you?"

She laughed while shaking her head, "No, it was McGonagall and Snape, I'd rather not get into how badly mum ripped into them but lets just say it was epic. Anyway skipping to Hogwarts my first year was alot like yours honestly, aside from the three of us figuring out that whatever was being hidden in the castle was loot and we needed to get it."

Harry tilted his head in confusion at that, "You mean yourself Hermione and Ron right?"

Cocking a brow Iris shook her head quickly, "No I mean myself, Hermione and Dudley, Ron is a good friend but I was always closer to Neville."

Harry just remained silent as he realized that in another reality, Dudley was a wizard just like him. The irony was almost...delicious.

"Anyway we ran that goof gauntlet in our first month in the castle, broke into the lockbox containing the Philosophers Stone and left a duplicate in its place. Honestly that rock sat in my knicker drawer for like...two years before we ever did anything with it. So pretty much everything went like it did for you, aside from me having to be dragged back down to the trap rooms by Quirrelmort. After catching him on fire and getting fed a massive dose of bullshit by Dumbledore in the aftermath I went home for the summer."

"Second year...was practically identical to yours really, aside from befriending Luna and Ginny that is. No one found out about the parselmouth thing though, just caught the ruddy snake on fire since it was a conjured animal. Hmm...Hermione and I figured out what the monster was early on, and even found the entrance, but no one believed us, idiots. Only thing different from you was I caught Lucius Malfoy on fire when he attempted to AK me, then Dobby elf slammed him down the steps."

"Please tell me you can share that memory?" Harry asked this with so much longing that it made his sister break out into giggles.

"Sure sure, he was able to reverse most of the damage keep in mind, still, it was funny. Where was I? Right third year was basically the most boring one I've had at Hogwarts and very different from your own. Basically, I love animals and have impulse issues, shutty I know you have something sarcastic to add to that. Anyway, I found this huge black dog and instead of being scared I was smitten with it.

"I snuck it home, gave it a bath, fed it like...two kilos of cooked hamburger, and was in the middle of brushing its fur when mum walked in, took one look at it and said 'Sirius? Is that you? We thought you were dead!' and cue my surprise when my awesome new pet turned into a somewhat scruffy looking man."

Harry lost it there as he broke out laughing, eventually he got ahold of himself shaking his head ever so slightly, "Oh god, the look on his face must have been amazing!"

Iris giggled and nodded as she shut down the last two burners and placed the cauldrons on the table, "Contrite, confused, and confidant, Padfoot in a nutshell there. Anyway since he'd been cleaned, fed, and coddled, he was in enough of a coherent mood to explain what happened. Simply put, he was put on bed rest, I contacted his favorite cousin Andromeda and drew her into the conspiracy, and after some legal ninjistu he brought Aunt Andi, Tonks, and myself into the House of Black.

"Anyway getting off track here, I waited for the Weasleys to come home from Egypt, when they got back I visited Ron, hit Scabbers with a stunner, and within the day had both Wormtail and Sirius tried. Aside from gaining an amazingly eccentric second family, and having an actually competent DADA professor, third year got boring after that. Only other thing to note was Dawlish let Pettigrew get away _inside_ the ministry because he forgot the anti-animagus cuffs...idiot."

Harry shook his head at that, pining over what could have been before prompting his sister to continue, "What about fourth year?"

Iris clammed up at that and glared at nothing in particular, "I...don't like thinking about fourth year Harry, alot happened...alot..."

Considering how...verbose she'd been only seconds before this was rather alarming, "I...alright, if you don't want to talk about it that's fine, but if you do I'm here, ok?"

Iris gritted her teeth and toed the floor a few moments before sighing in resignation, "I was nearly...well...some nasty things happened at the Quidditch World Cup, courtesy of the Death Eaters. I was drunk, confused, and caught completely flatfooted, apparently I'd been their goal the entire time, to put me in my place as it were. I really don't remember what happened...there was fire, and screaming...in the end I was found with my clothes half torn off of me and surrounded by dead bodies..."

Harry didn't need any prompting to rush over to Iris and pulled her into a hug, she returned it with force but continued speaking, "Things went pretty much the same for me, although I did befriend all the champions. Err...and accidentally slayed the dragon, not my fault I swear. Anyway...yeah...I'm...I'm done talking about this... I really don't want to get into the whole graveyard thing..."

Harry held her close and buried his face in her hair as she shivered in his arms, "You're so strong, you know that?"

She laughed humorlessly at that, "I have to be...if I'm not who will?"

Harry inhaled the scent of her hair, blackberries and vanilla, as he gently nodded in return, "I know exactly what you mean."

They stayed like that for a time, eventually the near silent record player clicked off as the album ended and Iris eventually broke her hold around Harry.

Glancing up at her brother she gave him a brittle smile before speaking, "Lets get the imprinting out of the way, the Wit Sharpening potion only has a 24 hour shelf life after all." Harry nodded in returned and accepted the potion filled mug from his sister as they approached the Imprinting Chairs set up next to the aquarium.

"So...how does this work?"

Iris looked contrite a moment before shrugging, "The instructions were...less than verbose, basically I've loaded the things down with everything, culture, maths, science, blueprints, engineering, the art of war, and so on."

Harry looked a bit apprehensive as he glanced back at his sister, "Err...is it going to be able to teach us that much at once?"

"Why I made the potion, if you want to back out it's fine, I just want to get this over with and move on."

Harry, a Gryffindor to the core aside from some very Slytherin aspects simply sighed, downed the foul tasting potion and hopped into the uncomfortable chair.

"Fine, lets do this," Iris simply smiled and downed her own potion, looking much like she wanted to throw up afterwords before sitting in her own seat. They adjusted the headsets, and as one, grabbed each others hand holding on tightly.

"See you on the other side big brother," Harry smirked as he nodded slowly.

"We'll get through this sis, talk to you soon," and with that they flicked the switches on their consoles, and screamed.

* * *

 **Woot, that's outta the way, don't worry the twins are fine they're just playing with fire and not really paying attention to the warning labels. Seriously the next chapter will be the academy and their...acquisition of several relics that will have them cackling like over sugared little kids. This was really an exposition chapter...I'm not a fan of these normally but since Iris is an OC that has kinda gained a life of her own and we had to boil it down for those who haven't read her other stories.**

 **Anyway, regardless if you hated or loved it, I'm very interested in hearing your input so please review!**


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